Three Ways Successful Women Sound Smart When They Speak
By Christina McKenna
I laugh when I remember my first corporate job interview, just a few weeks after I decided to leave TV news. Despite more than a decade in the workforce and solid academic credentials, I worried I wouldn’t be taken seriously. So, in an effort to make myself look as smart as possible, I did something that, at that time, I’d previously only done in front of close family members and my doctor: I wore my glasses!
I shake my head now at that superficial adjustment because I’m pretty sure it had no impact on my interviewer. But while my tactic may have been misguided, my cause for concern was valid.
A recent study published in American Psychologist found that, even when women have stronger credentials than their male counterparts, persistent gender biases still cast women as intellectually inferior to men.
While all professionals–men and women–should take responsibility for showcasing their capabilities, time and again, research shows that when men speak, they are often given the benefit of the doubt. Women on the other hand, need to be strategic when they speak to be sure their ideas get the credit they deserve.
Here are three things successful women do to look and sound smart when they speak:
Leverage physical presence. Whether it’s because the room is cold or the guy next to us is sprawled across two seats, too often women shrink their physical being into a smaller version of themselves, making them and their ideas seem less important. Instead, sit up tall, lean into conversations (or the camera), use your hands to gesture freely, and take up as much physical space as you need. In doing so, you’ll look confident and make it easier for others to place confidence in you too.
Apologize less. Successful women don’t apologize for things that aren’t their fault. Don’t tell clients, “I’m sorry you’re seeing our city on a dreary day,” or lament to a colleague, “I’m sorry, the coffee pot is empty.” Certainly, never apologize for your opinions or ideas. Rather than, “I’m sorry, Roger, but I disagree,” try simply, “Roger, I disagree.” When we needlessly apologize, we come across as insecure. Or worse, we get blamed for something that’s not our fault.
Be optimistic. Almost any idea can be stated in the positive or the negative. “We can’t get everyone in the same room,” can become, “We’ll need to hold this event virtually.” Train yourself to state ideas in the positive and to, in fact, see the positive in as many situations as possible. Sure, it can be important to point out what has gone wrong. But there’s often more value in showing how things can be improved.
At Bluestone, we’re so excited about helping women elevate themselves and their ideas, that all during March in honor of Women’s History Month, we’re offering a special workshop: “Seven Speaking Secrets Successful Women Know.”
To find out more, or to bring this program to your organization, contact us at 248.514.7085 or email us at info@bluestoneexec.com. Get other great tips on virtual communication, presenting with impact, and answering questions with confidence at www.bluestoneexec.com. Bluestone Executive Communications is located at 1025 East Maple Road, Birmingham, Michigan 48009.